2011 is a year that saw a big loss for my family and I.. the demise of my very good father and a loving nephew in September.
With life, one will always look back and wonder what if we did this and that; did it differently or not at all; and did it more or some less.
With life, there is no rewind button on the remote control of experience but just a look back and cannot change button for you to cherish, either in happiness or in anguish.
With life, we can either celebrate in its wonderment of it all of criticize it in its full glory. It all depends on not how we start nor how we end, but how we fill the gap in between these two bookmarks of our time on the world.
2011 also marks the revival of consciousness of what is important - family and the love of it.
One tends to pride oneself with the amazement of technology and its extensive capabilities without stopping to ask why we are more pressed for time when we created so many inventions to help us save it.
One tends to differentiate oneself as the busiest and thus most successful when after all, leisure quality time with loved ones is what we sought.
One tends to use advancement to move backwards, creating excuses for being late using a mobile phone because we can. Informing does not mean one does not erode away discipline, in this case of timeliness.
In the days not too far before us, our parents are always on time; are always creating family moments, and doing it all in the most sincere and simplest of ways. No extensively planned holidays; no extensively expensive gifts and no extensively luxurious food.
Today, we have lost time whilst trying to create more; we have erode friendship whilst having all the best of technologies to do so; and we have cheapen love because we have an abundance of ways to show it.
With the passing of 2011, I hope for all and myself to not just realize but to actualize what we realize and make 2012 yet a better year, for one, for all, for everyone.
Inspirations:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ae0tzVo8Fw
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gross_national_happiness
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Sunday, April 3, 2011
The smell of memory...
Have you ever wondered how memories work? Why do we get such a rush of it - desired or otherwise - when we get it? Does the smell of fresh linen; the pungent-ness of soiled ones; body odour or the cologne dashed onto you in an Indian barber shop brings flashback of yesteryears which in many of these years of rushing around tends to remain the blackbox undiscovered. I recently had a good haircut from the traiditonal Indian barber and upon the whiff of the smell of the familiar cologne, brought me back to when I was a little boy and when dad brought me to the Indian barber close to home for what was then a traumatic experience of a haircut.
Funny how it all came back, vivid, of a memory that I thought I had forgotten.
I can even see the shop, the chair, what I wore and how I embarrassingly - not then - cried.
It was like yesterday.
The mind works in mysterious ways.
There are past treasures which we have forgotten that we had.
There are future rewards waiting to be reaped.
Memories, as a record of our past will continue to educate us, at different times with different lessons, as we pass the journey we call life.
If memory can be stored in globes as in Harry Potter, it can be selected whenever.
But seriously, can we? Should we?
Memory is also copyrighted.
It cannot be stolen.
It cannot be shared.
It is yours, and yours only, forever.
If you chance upon reading this, it will now remain as on of those... memories.
Yours.
Forever.
Funny how it all came back, vivid, of a memory that I thought I had forgotten.
I can even see the shop, the chair, what I wore and how I embarrassingly - not then - cried.
It was like yesterday.
The mind works in mysterious ways.
There are past treasures which we have forgotten that we had.
There are future rewards waiting to be reaped.
Memories, as a record of our past will continue to educate us, at different times with different lessons, as we pass the journey we call life.
If memory can be stored in globes as in Harry Potter, it can be selected whenever.
But seriously, can we? Should we?
Memory is also copyrighted.
It cannot be stolen.
It cannot be shared.
It is yours, and yours only, forever.
If you chance upon reading this, it will now remain as on of those... memories.
Yours.
Forever.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Who is this person I see staring back?
Who is this person I see staring back?
'Who is the girl I see, staring back straight at me..' coos Coco Lee in the feature song of Mulan.
This is what we sometimes wonder looking into a mirror or simply contemplating a reflection off the TV screen clean enough to do so. And if you have not, you should.
As our journey through life gets consumed every second by time and chalked up what we regard as age and experience, we sometimes forget to give ourselves the private time of looking back. Looking back at our journey, in achievements of success and, not or, of failures. And we deserve it.
On a flight back from Sydney, as I prepared my world's largest reclinable bed-seat, I caught a glimpse of a familiar face which inadvertently looked back.
Me!
I seriously have not seen ME for a while, although we confront the mirror almost daily, in toilets, in elevators, in the car back-view mirror. These were stares that was for a purpose, not one that is to examine oneself. It is to check a blemish, to shave – for men and some women, to check on traffic before you overtake or reverse, or to conform to let time pass by faster when you examine your clothes and hair in an elevator shiny surface.
How many of us look into the mirror at ourselves to see us, to see our soul, to see the track of experiences that sometimes is so evident through laugh lines or lines resulting from stress. I would submit to you that we seldom, or even never.
The fact is that we should.
We spend time to understand others. How much time do you spend understanding yourself?
We spend time appreciating others' success and achievements. How much time do you spend appreciating your own achievements, may it be closing a big deal, getting to a leadership position before 30, or simply offering a helping hand to an old person crossing the road.
We spend time criticizing others' in their doings, wrong by our judgment, and passing it by our standards. How often do we spend learning from our own mistakes – which we all make more often than we care to admit, in love, in career and to our loved ones.
That in itself is sharing our own journey with who is supposedly the most intimate person to oneself – OURSELF.
The question is WHY do we not do that?
Many does not do it because they are too involved in doing it to show off. We most times do things to impress and please others and in return for an exchange of the 15 seconds awe others have for us.
Many does not self-examine or better, self-access or self-appreciate because we are consumed by the need to care for others.
Many does not give time to themselves as their excuse is either too busy doing things for others towards the claim of selflessness.
Well, as I said before, the difference between human beings and animals are the ability to make excuse for what they want to do.
So, why not spend sometime with yourself.
Even if it is once in a while.
It is better than never.
Never never.
Spend time to understand yourself for yourself.
You can be naked with your soul.
You can be excessively honest because you are talking to yourself and you will not squeal on yourself. If you do, it is intentional!
You can be the plain you, the glamorous you, the judgmental you, the lying you, the loving you, the cynical and skeptical you.. as long as it is you on YOU!
Learn from it.
You can now decide what you choose to continue.
For good. For bad. And for all the beauty and ugliness the world care to present.
PS: Can also be done without a pillow. Ceiling staring is also useful before one stares at the inside of one's eyelids.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
2010 : On Reflections and Reflexions
As time comes to another superficial end called New Year eve and then start it again with the new year, it calls to attention for us all to REFLECT on what this last 365 days has been, not that we can do anything now to change it. Personally, I do not believe in waiting for an 'auspicious' break, superficial or otherwise, to reflect but seems like the world is intoxicated with resolutions, before the first glass of bubbly is consumed.
2010 could be a wonderful year for some; an average non-eventful for others or an annus horribilis for the rest. It sure has its fair share of highlights, lowlights and nolights! From financial rollercoasters, through political unheavals, to human achievements in science, medicine and behaviour.
We chose the man who Wiki-exposed it all as the Most Intriguing Man of the Year; we afforded ourselves lifestyles which we cannot afford; and we continue to see love perpectuated through one another, like Kate and William or a couple at the Registrar of Marriage - straight, gay and everything in between.
However, the question remains on the fact of WHAT DID YOU DO IN 2010?
What value did you add?
Did you make someone else's life better? Happier?
Did you make yours?
We go through the passage of time, without the choice of it.
We somehow allowed stimulus around us to incent us to reflexively react to situations, whether it is to buy something; to judge someone or to change jobs.
Why?
Because they are there.
Because they are appealing.
Because the grass is always greener on the other side of the septic tank.
Because it portrays itself as HOPE.
2010 for me has been a good year, because I yield it so.
However, external factors like my dad's cancer is outside the realms of anyone's control.
As I kept promising to write a book called the TWO BUCKET SYSTEM.
This squarely falls in Bucket One, things that we canNOT change.
However, we have Bucket Two, things that we can do to Bucket One.
Well, we made him comfortable, brought him to Taipei, gave him the best medical attention we can afford.
What is the best thing that came out of this?
The family coming together more closely, regardless of what the reason may be.
As I always said, the difference between a human being and an animal is the ability to make excuse for everything that they want to do! In this case, for a good reason too!
What else in 2010?
Career-wise it was interesting.. I finally got out of the Director-ship into now a Senior Director-ship.
I have decided many years ago that titles does not matter anymore.
Beyond financial benefits, it is happiness at what one does is more critical.
I re-connected with some friends.. some by 'divine' intervention!
I found some new acquaintances - some good, some bad amd many in between.
On RELFLEXION, I went and bought a car.
Without much consideration for quality but becasue I was there!
On REFLECTION, I have not done enough.
I am of the opinion that if one does not REFLECT enough, one is more REFLEXIVE!
REFLECTION allows one to think, and more importantly one to learn, from mistakes and from successes. More importantly, one learns. But to do what?
Learn to make others happy and in turn hope to make yourself so.
As we again pass this timeline of 2010 into 2011, we are given a new opportunity to learn to REFLECT more and REFLEX less.
So the question as the clock strikes 12 tonight and before your carriage turns into a pumpkin will be : WHAT WILL YOU DO IN 2011?
2010 could be a wonderful year for some; an average non-eventful for others or an annus horribilis for the rest. It sure has its fair share of highlights, lowlights and nolights! From financial rollercoasters, through political unheavals, to human achievements in science, medicine and behaviour.
We chose the man who Wiki-exposed it all as the Most Intriguing Man of the Year; we afforded ourselves lifestyles which we cannot afford; and we continue to see love perpectuated through one another, like Kate and William or a couple at the Registrar of Marriage - straight, gay and everything in between.
However, the question remains on the fact of WHAT DID YOU DO IN 2010?
What value did you add?
Did you make someone else's life better? Happier?
Did you make yours?
We go through the passage of time, without the choice of it.
We somehow allowed stimulus around us to incent us to reflexively react to situations, whether it is to buy something; to judge someone or to change jobs.
Why?
Because they are there.
Because they are appealing.
Because the grass is always greener on the other side of the septic tank.
Because it portrays itself as HOPE.
2010 for me has been a good year, because I yield it so.
However, external factors like my dad's cancer is outside the realms of anyone's control.
As I kept promising to write a book called the TWO BUCKET SYSTEM.
This squarely falls in Bucket One, things that we canNOT change.
However, we have Bucket Two, things that we can do to Bucket One.
Well, we made him comfortable, brought him to Taipei, gave him the best medical attention we can afford.
What is the best thing that came out of this?
The family coming together more closely, regardless of what the reason may be.
As I always said, the difference between a human being and an animal is the ability to make excuse for everything that they want to do! In this case, for a good reason too!
What else in 2010?
Career-wise it was interesting.. I finally got out of the Director-ship into now a Senior Director-ship.
I have decided many years ago that titles does not matter anymore.
Beyond financial benefits, it is happiness at what one does is more critical.
I re-connected with some friends.. some by 'divine' intervention!
I found some new acquaintances - some good, some bad amd many in between.
On RELFLEXION, I went and bought a car.
Without much consideration for quality but becasue I was there!
On REFLECTION, I have not done enough.
I am of the opinion that if one does not REFLECT enough, one is more REFLEXIVE!
REFLECTION allows one to think, and more importantly one to learn, from mistakes and from successes. More importantly, one learns. But to do what?
Learn to make others happy and in turn hope to make yourself so.
As we again pass this timeline of 2010 into 2011, we are given a new opportunity to learn to REFLECT more and REFLEX less.
So the question as the clock strikes 12 tonight and before your carriage turns into a pumpkin will be : WHAT WILL YOU DO IN 2011?
Thursday, June 3, 2010
More for Less: Leveraging e-marketing for more effective results
More for Less: Leveraging e-marketing for more effective results
（Original text of article found in Singapore Institiute of Management's (SIM) TODAY'S MANAGER (June-July 2010) issue
e-marketing has been around for some time but its effectiveness is now only beginning to be realised. With social media and more technologically advanced tools, we can do more effective marketing by studying the behaviour of clients and consumers rather than sending 1 million e-mails to have 10 opened.
With the advent of a seamless networked world, e-marketing – marketing of products and services over the Internet – seems not just the right thing to do but a critical strategy to stay competitive.
Does that mean we should all rush into e-marketing? The answer is, “It depends!”
It is of course gratifying to see one’s business information, products and services up on a Web site with the promise of getting millions of eyeballs around the world. The Internet can make a small business a global business by allowing it to be in front of a global audience.
But e-marketing is still marketing. Marketing, whether with an “e” or not, has to be relevant to the audience.
The Internet has been transformed into a tool to drive innovation through collaboration. Businesses have leveraged on the explosive growth of the Internet and Web 2.0 technologies to derive better results from marketing activities. e-marketing has gone through drastic transformation, from the early days when marketers dabbled with putting up a Web site and struggled to keep the information current; to the next stage of enabling an e-commerce engine to facilitate transactions; and to the present where marketers consider how they can effectively use of Facebook and social networks to drive more returns from marketing activities. Many are also using social networking sites to solicit feedback about their products and services and gather information to influence future product development.
The key point to remember is that the basics of marketing still apply. Understanding customer needs and answering them is still the primary driving force in making a sale. The advantage of the e-marketing engine is that it allows us to do it faster and cheaper. The catch, though, is you have to do it right.
Who to sell what to and when
Sending an eDM (electronic Direct Mail) is NOT the ultimate end, even though many list providers would incentivise with bulk discounts on increased number of names rented. The ultimate end of a marketing activity is sales. Why send out something about a product or service if you are not keen in selling it? Making sure you send information to the people who need it when they need it will increase sales.
More important is to recognise that the e-version of a sales catalogue has greater cost and time-to-market advantages especially if the direct mail campaign is to be repeated, or information about product or service benefits is to be changed in different campaigns to address different target audiences, for example, technical users vs a business audience.
The efficiency of e-marketing, however, is a different story. The effectiveness of e-marketing is not about increased coverage and costs of eDMs but has to start with the right success factors, not about just how many eDMs were sent.
One of the advantages of e-marketing which does not surface frequently is the advantage of institutional memory. All information available can be used repeatedly for new marketing campaigns; repackaged to address a different customer set and also be integrated into other parts of a new campaign with relative ease.
Many organisations and marketers do not leverage an integrated approach to re-using information. Many projects are developed to create more or less the same type of information because there is no process or system to manage this 'knowledge' repository.
E-measurements : Truth or fluff?
An eDM may cost $1,000 to develop and can be sent to as many people as you have e-mail addresses. Comparing this with the production cost of even $1 per DM piece makes eDM a worthwhile investment. However, this is not the truth of measurement because sending does not mean reaching. Reaching does not mean opening. Opening does not mean reading. Reading does not mean clicking. Clicking does not mean buying.
To ensure the end-in-mind is to sell more things to more people more often for more money, one has to focus on how to communicate with the right people with the right message through the right channel at the right time. If one’s product is at least to be given a chance to be successful, one should look at the audience you are communicating to by segmentation, for example, by industry, types of audience (C-level, IT managers, and to certain degree, gender depending on the products). From there decide on a list and measure receive rate (percentage of non-bounced email); open rate (open over received); click rate (click over open) and lastly buy rate (buy over click).
With this simple understanding, you can decide on the effectiveness of a list you rented or tweak the relevancy of messages (price or value) and begin building categories of audiences for future e-marketing activities with the intent to improve efficiency and yield better ROI.
This should also change the model of business between marketers and list vendors, moving from list rental to pay-per-lead model. This therefore forces the list vendors to ensure that they have the best lists and uses it to prove that the quality of their lists is what they said it is.
The upcoming trend in e-marketing is behavioural tracking and management. Within the confines of privacy rules, this is a very exciting and important aspect of how business goals can be achieved through profiling and living up to giving the customers what they want in a timely manner.
Pitfalls
The question that needs to be answered before deciding on e-marketing is how committed are you to maintaining the infrastructure. Yes, you can outsource the hosting. You can even outsource the marketing in utilizing search engines etc. But the information, the plan, and the execution that is relevant to your business cannot be closer to anyone else than to your organization.
Many organizations rushed into setting up Web sites and the information stays the same from the day it was created, 10 years ago. The worst case is that the Web site is not even up because the ISP that the job was outsourced to during the dot-boom era has gone out of business. The sad part of this is many businesses think they have entered the foray of e-marketing with this. True, but for the wrong reasons and it erodes the brand. Couple this with Internet user behaviour of short attention span and spoilt for choice, returning to your site may be something that will not happen ever again, that is losing a prospective customer forever.
Some organizations continue to test the privacy rules of countries. Most did it without understanding of what it is. Spamming is still a prevalent problem. This again brings us back to the argument about sending eDMs as a measurement and not about selling.
E-enablement
The advent of e-marketing also allowed companies to save costs through below the line marketing in the form of readiness. Many successful organizations include enablement of their sales force – around the world – through training and briefing on the Internet.
However, this requires investment in media creation and course creation. In line with institutional memory, these assets can be used and re-used, impacting hiring schedule and providing flexibility to the recipients to learn on-demand, where and when they can.
What is even better is that it can track who has taken what course and for how long he/she went through the course and even take online quizzes and provide feedback. This can apply to 10 or 10,000 without increasing costs.
With this, the sales force will be more ready than previously to provide the necessary information to customers, expediting the sales cycle. Surely, this is a good ROI for the business.
Serve yourself
Self-service has been introduced in many forms. ATMs to replace bank counters, automated phone service through voice-recognition and now information search on portals and some even offer customers to configure their own products and price. This is all good from an efficiency angle. However, it takes away the human touch.
E-marketing provides information availability across the globe. Information is available across the globe, 24x7, 365 days a year. The challenge is that it has to be available 24-hours; in all languages; meets all local requirements, and at the same time open to scrutiny, in an accelerated manner.
Any problem, no matter how small, will become a global problem in no time. A wrong update may force your company to sell a product for $2.50 although you intended to key in $250.
That is part of the bad and the ugly.
There is definitely goodness in providing self-service. If it is done well. A good self-service must start from understanding customer needs – languages, ability, relevancy. It must be backed up by escalation processes to help, which need to be operating around the clock. This goes back to the infrastructure requirements we talked about earlier.
When done well, e-marketing becomes an avenue to delight customers. It becomes a way to drive effectiveness and efficiency. It becomes a framework for growth globally.
e-tools: What are available
E-tools abound today. Some are good, some so-so, some bad. But it depends on what you want to do.
In Website tracking, one can use free tools available on the Internet to track traffic. You can outsource the task to a gamut of Web hosting companies or e-marketing agencies. You can also use applications now available on the Cloud, from Web site publishing to e-commerce engines.
Social media has sprung to the forefront of discussion in recent years. Social media can be used to provide a view into one’s social behaviour that may be of consequence in closing a deal. Examples are often repeated of how commenting about the soccer game of the son of a client has helped to open doors to his office. Development of social media for e-marketing is still at its infancy and there is little concrete data about its usage and effectiveness.
Another important aspect of e-marketing is behaviour tracking. Marketing is about behaviour management i.e. changing your decision to delay a purchase to one that buys now with promotion; changing the decision of not buy a competitive product to buy yours with better perceived benefits. Above all, it is about relationships. E-marketing is the very platform to make this possible.
The end-in-mind is to have an intuitive engine that will drive towards the holy grail of 1-on-1 marketing through ultimate relevancy based on the customer’s needs and time he/she needs it.
This can certainly be done through careful back-to-basic planning and mapping the right tools to reach the end-in-mind of ‘selling more things to more people more often for more money’ with the understanding of ‘communicating the right message to the right people through the right channel at the right time.’
Daniel Ng has been in IT marketing for over 25 years. He has worked with many multinationals in the IT industry. Currently based in Singapore, Daniel continues to build successful marketing programmes companies across the Asia Pacific region. Daniel is a Fellow of the Chartered Institute of Marketing.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Cecilia, you are the shining model of living life to its fullest
My dear Cecilia, when your request over Facebook for me to write your eulogy came on May 8th, I brushed it off as another one of your warped humour. We have all expected, as usual, that you will be well again!
I am usually not stuck for words but with this piece, I was lost.
Lost not because I have nothing to write but lost in how I should write it to embody such an incredible human being.
Then I found my answer.
It cannot be about grief.
If that, you in your inflated ego, will kick me in the butt!
It has to be YOU, a celebration of LIFE!
When I think of our first meeting, the only word that came to mind was SHOCK!
Your bright red hair began the series of shock for the short time we had together.
You shocked me into realization that life is about what you want it to be.
You shocked me into understanding that at the lowest point in your life after your mishap with your leg makes you look higher and be happier
You shocked me with your down to earth attitude where heaven can exist
You shocked me that friendship can be as thick as blood in a short period of time
In short, you shock the hell out of me... and brought me to the heaven of bliss, passion, contentment, love and no regrets.
My dear Cecilia, we are here to celebrate you!
Celebrate what you have done to our lives, albeit in your own shocking way, which you may or may not know.
I salute your intensity to realize your passion of being what other people cringe and may shun, a zoo-keeper.
I salute you for being yourself, in your glowing red-hair and your rainbow coloured outfits as a show of confidence and individualism which bred followership.
I salute you for your focus to make an imperfect leg walk better than anyone and the miles to chase your passion.
I salute you for your disposition - contagious, brightens-up-the-room, can't-get-enough-of.
I miss you for stopping to show us the way, so soon.
I love you everyday for what you have given us and taught us to be what we are born to be.
There. Done. And with no tears, for tears is never for my darling Cecilia.
Just laughters, smiles, happiness and love can only be worthy of your legacy.
Fare thee well my sweetie.
Till we all are together again.
I am usually not stuck for words but with this piece, I was lost.
Lost not because I have nothing to write but lost in how I should write it to embody such an incredible human being.
Then I found my answer.
It cannot be about grief.
If that, you in your inflated ego, will kick me in the butt!
It has to be YOU, a celebration of LIFE!
When I think of our first meeting, the only word that came to mind was SHOCK!
Your bright red hair began the series of shock for the short time we had together.
You shocked me into realization that life is about what you want it to be.
You shocked me into understanding that at the lowest point in your life after your mishap with your leg makes you look higher and be happier
You shocked me with your down to earth attitude where heaven can exist
You shocked me that friendship can be as thick as blood in a short period of time
In short, you shock the hell out of me... and brought me to the heaven of bliss, passion, contentment, love and no regrets.
My dear Cecilia, we are here to celebrate you!
Celebrate what you have done to our lives, albeit in your own shocking way, which you may or may not know.
I salute your intensity to realize your passion of being what other people cringe and may shun, a zoo-keeper.
I salute you for being yourself, in your glowing red-hair and your rainbow coloured outfits as a show of confidence and individualism which bred followership.
I salute you for your focus to make an imperfect leg walk better than anyone and the miles to chase your passion.
I salute you for your disposition - contagious, brightens-up-the-room, can't-get-enough-of.
I miss you for stopping to show us the way, so soon.
I love you everyday for what you have given us and taught us to be what we are born to be.
There. Done. And with no tears, for tears is never for my darling Cecilia.
Just laughters, smiles, happiness and love can only be worthy of your legacy.
Fare thee well my sweetie.
Till we all are together again.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Welcome to my box...
To many, the saying 'Life begins at 40' is just that, a saying.
However, to some, how you feel and thus how you look is within your hands.
To a few, that is a realization and acted on it!
In my passing of the last 47 plus years, I have heard of people making excuses for things that they like to do, far more t han making excuses for things that they do not like to do. Guess that is human.
In a quite recent school reunion, my 5-year old niece and true to the nature of 5-year-olds who speak their mind - a quality we lose as we grow older - asked my classmates how old they are. To the bemusement of a few of them who took to 'bullying' little girls came the answer :' Silly girl, we are your uncle's classmates. Therefore we are of the same age!' came the unexpected and rather to-the-heart reply : 'Then why do you look so old and fat!' (in relative to her uncle!)
This entry is by no means an account to show-off nor a guidance to shape-up.
It is merely a reflection of focusing on what you want to do, impacted by 'market' forces, and derived at the end-in-mind that you desire. Best of all, it is an account of what is possible. Impossible is nothing, says Adidas!
Well, as I passed 40 years old, with a rotund 38" waist and over 26% body fat, I fit into the usual mould of an UNCLE, AH PEK or PAKCIK. Gone are the days when I was called ABANG, KOR KOR or simply MISTER. The former salutation is by way of respect (for my coming of weight.. of age I mean.. as demonstrated by my imposing waistline!). The worst thing was I was readily accepting it!
Then came one fine day when my friends and I went island hopping in Phuket, pre-tsunami period in 2001.To their rather witty and sheepish question of whether I am wearing a swim trunk, my RASPUTIA-belly stood flacid and round over my not-so skimpy trunks, I knew they were telling the truth. They, knowing how I take to challenge like any hot-blooded Leos would, issued the challenge that by my next birthday - 12 months from the day - they wanted to see 6-pax! 6-pax to me was a dream which remained shy and hidden. I knew it was there but I also knew that it was cushioned by the layer called FAT!
I duly took up their challenge and engaged a personal trainer on my return to Singapore.
The beginning of the ordeal was painful, nonetheless.
One notable incident was when the Honorable David Levine, US Ambassador to Singapore at the time, asked if I was OK, seeing that I was walking like someone who has hernia. This was the week AFTER I started training.. tell me if you would not be walking like that!
A note to remember : Personal trainers comes in many shapes and forms. Some are just counters - do not show you what to do but only counts the reps you did. Some are tele-PT, meaning that they are on their phone sms'ing whoever all the time you are yelping for help. There are ones who cheats, who signs for you the sessions that you did not have so they can clock in more revenue. And of course there are those few that does it for the right reasons. I was unlucky to begin but ended up with a PT I call a friend for the last 8 years!
So, welcome to my box! What box is that?
Over 40!
To cut a very long story short, it is not impossible!
I called it the 3 + 2'D' regime.
What is that?
3 D : Discipline - I wake up at 5 AM daily to be at the gym at 6 AM. Drive - you MUST want to do it! You must have the end-in-mind.. beyond looking good and lastly Diet : You are what you eat. Best way is to cut off carbs for dinner. No carbs after 5!
The other 2 'D's?
Haha! Daniel and Din, my PT friend... (Hey, I m in Marketing!)
So I have had many queries of HOW to do it... Upon which I talk about my 3Ds. Many retorted - I love my donuts. I cant do away with Maggi noodles at 10pm etc etc. Well, you are after all what you eat. If you are comfortable having a donut around your waist, then indulge and be happy!
Lastly, do whatever you feel will make you happy.
As I started, I am sharing, not prescribing.
And do not cheat, buying a size bigger pants to have a relatively smaller (growing) waist is only for short term happiness!
However, to some, how you feel and thus how you look is within your hands.
To a few, that is a realization and acted on it!
In my passing of the last 47 plus years, I have heard of people making excuses for things that they like to do, far more t han making excuses for things that they do not like to do. Guess that is human.
In a quite recent school reunion, my 5-year old niece and true to the nature of 5-year-olds who speak their mind - a quality we lose as we grow older - asked my classmates how old they are. To the bemusement of a few of them who took to 'bullying' little girls came the answer :' Silly girl, we are your uncle's classmates. Therefore we are of the same age!' came the unexpected and rather to-the-heart reply : 'Then why do you look so old and fat!' (in relative to her uncle!)
This entry is by no means an account to show-off nor a guidance to shape-up.
It is merely a reflection of focusing on what you want to do, impacted by 'market' forces, and derived at the end-in-mind that you desire. Best of all, it is an account of what is possible. Impossible is nothing, says Adidas!
Well, as I passed 40 years old, with a rotund 38" waist and over 26% body fat, I fit into the usual mould of an UNCLE, AH PEK or PAKCIK. Gone are the days when I was called ABANG, KOR KOR or simply MISTER. The former salutation is by way of respect (for my coming of weight.. of age I mean.. as demonstrated by my imposing waistline!). The worst thing was I was readily accepting it!
Then came one fine day when my friends and I went island hopping in Phuket, pre-tsunami period in 2001.To their rather witty and sheepish question of whether I am wearing a swim trunk, my RASPUTIA-belly stood flacid and round over my not-so skimpy trunks, I knew they were telling the truth. They, knowing how I take to challenge like any hot-blooded Leos would, issued the challenge that by my next birthday - 12 months from the day - they wanted to see 6-pax! 6-pax to me was a dream which remained shy and hidden. I knew it was there but I also knew that it was cushioned by the layer called FAT!
I duly took up their challenge and engaged a personal trainer on my return to Singapore.
The beginning of the ordeal was painful, nonetheless.
One notable incident was when the Honorable David Levine, US Ambassador to Singapore at the time, asked if I was OK, seeing that I was walking like someone who has hernia. This was the week AFTER I started training.. tell me if you would not be walking like that!
A note to remember : Personal trainers comes in many shapes and forms. Some are just counters - do not show you what to do but only counts the reps you did. Some are tele-PT, meaning that they are on their phone sms'ing whoever all the time you are yelping for help. There are ones who cheats, who signs for you the sessions that you did not have so they can clock in more revenue. And of course there are those few that does it for the right reasons. I was unlucky to begin but ended up with a PT I call a friend for the last 8 years!
So, welcome to my box! What box is that?
Over 40!
To cut a very long story short, it is not impossible!
I called it the 3 + 2'D' regime.
What is that?
3 D : Discipline - I wake up at 5 AM daily to be at the gym at 6 AM. Drive - you MUST want to do it! You must have the end-in-mind.. beyond looking good and lastly Diet : You are what you eat. Best way is to cut off carbs for dinner. No carbs after 5!
The other 2 'D's?
Haha! Daniel and Din, my PT friend... (Hey, I m in Marketing!)
So I have had many queries of HOW to do it... Upon which I talk about my 3Ds. Many retorted - I love my donuts. I cant do away with Maggi noodles at 10pm etc etc. Well, you are after all what you eat. If you are comfortable having a donut around your waist, then indulge and be happy!
Lastly, do whatever you feel will make you happy.
As I started, I am sharing, not prescribing.
And do not cheat, buying a size bigger pants to have a relatively smaller (growing) waist is only for short term happiness!
Saturday, May 1, 2010
ULTIMATE HAPPINESS... The true end-in-mind of life and living
ULTIMATE HAPPINESS... The true end-in-mind of life and living
Many of us - yours truly included - tends to put things off, procrastinate. Excuse being, we will do it tomorrow. This is then cushioned by our human ability of making excuses for everything we want to do.. or in this case, not!
Now for a minute there ponder this. Why do we always think that there is a tomorrow? As the song goes.. 'If tomorrow never comes..', what would you do?
The greatest regret anyone can have is to be drawing our last breath and having it! Regret(s) that is!
Firstly, if the ultimate happiness is the end-in-mind, regrets must first be minimised or eliminated, or even better, not be created.
What are regrets?
Something that we want to do, hopeully in the creation of happiness, that we failed to, owing to whatever reasons.
So first, NO REGRETS.
Do not ever regret doing anything.
In my Bucket 1 and 2 discussion in earlier blog entries where Bucket 1 contain things that you canNOT change and Bucket 2, things that you have control over, you have every tool to cushion the impact of Bucket 1. Also to my earlier entries on THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HUMAN AND AN ANIMAL IS THE ABILITY TO MAKE EXCUSES FOR THINGS THEY WANT TO DO, brings me to the fact that if you have chosen to do what you want to do, then let that be the choice, good, bad or ugly as it may be. Live by the consequences. Do not for a minute think about what it could have been if you did not. (Well, that should already be part of the analysis BEFORE you did what you did)
Why? Because if you did it, you cannot go back in time and not do it. (Read : UN-doing something is not the same as NOT DOING it in the first place! Have you seen the crack on a broken porcelain plate glued back?). This SHOULD NOT give you an excuse not to make amends... a crack is still better than a broken plate, although not perfect.
Second.. DO IT NOW!
If you do not know if you are going to live tomorrow, why wait?
In my Facebook survey on 'If this is the last weekend that you know you have to live, what would you do?' came scary and sometimes sad answers like 'I will call my parents up and tell them how much I love them' and 'I will walk up to the person I have loved secretly for so long and tell him/her how I feel'. Hmmm... my supposition is a future date.. what if you die tomorrow... You will be drawing your last breath, with regret. And guess what, you cannot do anything about it!
Why wait to whatever future time to do it... DO IT NOW!
Lastly.. DO NOT DELAY HAPPINESS.
Money. Health. Relationship. All these are part of a myriad of components where happiness can be derived. It is however also a source of the opposite. Heard of the fight stemmed from will reading? Or two people being jealous of one another in the excuse of love.
HAPPINESS is the end-result, end-in-mind. It is not the components. If having money brings you happiness, then be it.. but will you be happy being the richest person when you are suffering from a disease? On the other hand, even if you are sick, can you not be happy?
Having someone to love who loves you - and at the same time (see why a delay in this case on either side will result in very different outcome) - is the most blessed thing one can have in a lifetime.. whether rich or poor, healthy or otherwise. But there are people who does not express their love.. and regret it... only to find out that the other person suffered from the same...
So what to do so that HAPPINESS is NOT DELAYED?
Well, if you have bought a birthday present today for someone whose birthday is 5 days down the road, give it now. It gives the recepient 5 days more of happiness... and you too! Tell your loved ones that you love them, NOW! Go out and have yourself that meal and start today and save up for the dream trip or simply take a day off to be with yourself.
What ever that brings you HAPPINESS... NOW!
Many of us - yours truly included - tends to put things off, procrastinate. Excuse being, we will do it tomorrow. This is then cushioned by our human ability of making excuses for everything we want to do.. or in this case, not!
Now for a minute there ponder this. Why do we always think that there is a tomorrow? As the song goes.. 'If tomorrow never comes..', what would you do?
The greatest regret anyone can have is to be drawing our last breath and having it! Regret(s) that is!
Firstly, if the ultimate happiness is the end-in-mind, regrets must first be minimised or eliminated, or even better, not be created.
What are regrets?
Something that we want to do, hopeully in the creation of happiness, that we failed to, owing to whatever reasons.
So first, NO REGRETS.
Do not ever regret doing anything.
In my Bucket 1 and 2 discussion in earlier blog entries where Bucket 1 contain things that you canNOT change and Bucket 2, things that you have control over, you have every tool to cushion the impact of Bucket 1. Also to my earlier entries on THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HUMAN AND AN ANIMAL IS THE ABILITY TO MAKE EXCUSES FOR THINGS THEY WANT TO DO, brings me to the fact that if you have chosen to do what you want to do, then let that be the choice, good, bad or ugly as it may be. Live by the consequences. Do not for a minute think about what it could have been if you did not. (Well, that should already be part of the analysis BEFORE you did what you did)
Why? Because if you did it, you cannot go back in time and not do it. (Read : UN-doing something is not the same as NOT DOING it in the first place! Have you seen the crack on a broken porcelain plate glued back?). This SHOULD NOT give you an excuse not to make amends... a crack is still better than a broken plate, although not perfect.
Second.. DO IT NOW!
If you do not know if you are going to live tomorrow, why wait?
In my Facebook survey on 'If this is the last weekend that you know you have to live, what would you do?' came scary and sometimes sad answers like 'I will call my parents up and tell them how much I love them' and 'I will walk up to the person I have loved secretly for so long and tell him/her how I feel'. Hmmm... my supposition is a future date.. what if you die tomorrow... You will be drawing your last breath, with regret. And guess what, you cannot do anything about it!
Why wait to whatever future time to do it... DO IT NOW!
Lastly.. DO NOT DELAY HAPPINESS.
Money. Health. Relationship. All these are part of a myriad of components where happiness can be derived. It is however also a source of the opposite. Heard of the fight stemmed from will reading? Or two people being jealous of one another in the excuse of love.
HAPPINESS is the end-result, end-in-mind. It is not the components. If having money brings you happiness, then be it.. but will you be happy being the richest person when you are suffering from a disease? On the other hand, even if you are sick, can you not be happy?
Having someone to love who loves you - and at the same time (see why a delay in this case on either side will result in very different outcome) - is the most blessed thing one can have in a lifetime.. whether rich or poor, healthy or otherwise. But there are people who does not express their love.. and regret it... only to find out that the other person suffered from the same...
So what to do so that HAPPINESS is NOT DELAYED?
Well, if you have bought a birthday present today for someone whose birthday is 5 days down the road, give it now. It gives the recepient 5 days more of happiness... and you too! Tell your loved ones that you love them, NOW! Go out and have yourself that meal and start today and save up for the dream trip or simply take a day off to be with yourself.
What ever that brings you HAPPINESS... NOW!
Kuala Terengganu - a breath of fresh air... and GREAT food... at wonderful prices
I cannot remember when I was last in Kuala Terengganu (KT) but I can remember it was not a clean town, smelly and with clogged drains!
This Good Friday weekend changed all that.
We flew up from Singapore to Kuala Lumpur and drive with the family to KT on the very scenic highway... bypassing (and not missing) Kuantan.
We stopped at Kemaman for the famed stuffed crab but was utterly disappointed. It was relatively expensive at RM7 each but was dry and unflavourful.
Finally, we arrived at KT, not before we stopped along the way to buy some SATAR, a sweet fish-chillie barbqued concoction, followed by boiled sweetcorn and peanuts. Yummy!
We rushed out to get my all time fav - keropok lekor.. You can have it steamed or fried...
Next we ended in KT and ate dinner at a HALAL Chinese seafood restaurant near the hotel (next to one called OCEAN). Food was good although the environment can be better. We saw many having steamboat. Guess it is their specialty, We celebrated dad's birthday there.
Next morning was a start of a marathon of food.. started with fried radish cake at Kampung Tiong with historic relevance (The first well where Chinese settlers get their water), Paung - the ever wonderful baked fresh bread, with or without the coconut fillings; nasi kerabu - vegetarian rice; pulut liper...
Lunch was at ERWINA nasi padang - RM92 for 10 people and lots of good food!
Dinner was from a stall beside the Batu Buruk beach road - from nasi lemak, nasi kuning, nasi kunyit and my ever favorite nasi dagang! YUMMY!!!!! All at RM2.50 each!
Next morning, we left early, with over 40 plates of roti paung in tow and over 60 pulut liper to buy the ever famous nasi dagang from Mak Ngah - a pink 2-story house on the way from KT to KL - 10 mins away from town center. Go early. The sweet old lady closes at noon!
Burp!
This Good Friday weekend changed all that.
We flew up from Singapore to Kuala Lumpur and drive with the family to KT on the very scenic highway... bypassing (and not missing) Kuantan.
We stopped at Kemaman for the famed stuffed crab but was utterly disappointed. It was relatively expensive at RM7 each but was dry and unflavourful.
Finally, we arrived at KT, not before we stopped along the way to buy some SATAR, a sweet fish-chillie barbqued concoction, followed by boiled sweetcorn and peanuts. Yummy!
We rushed out to get my all time fav - keropok lekor.. You can have it steamed or fried...
Next we ended in KT and ate dinner at a HALAL Chinese seafood restaurant near the hotel (next to one called OCEAN). Food was good although the environment can be better. We saw many having steamboat. Guess it is their specialty, We celebrated dad's birthday there.
Next morning was a start of a marathon of food.. started with fried radish cake at Kampung Tiong with historic relevance (The first well where Chinese settlers get their water), Paung - the ever wonderful baked fresh bread, with or without the coconut fillings; nasi kerabu - vegetarian rice; pulut liper...
Lunch was at ERWINA nasi padang - RM92 for 10 people and lots of good food!
Dinner was from a stall beside the Batu Buruk beach road - from nasi lemak, nasi kuning, nasi kunyit and my ever favorite nasi dagang! YUMMY!!!!! All at RM2.50 each!
Next morning, we left early, with over 40 plates of roti paung in tow and over 60 pulut liper to buy the ever famous nasi dagang from Mak Ngah - a pink 2-story house on the way from KT to KL - 10 mins away from town center. Go early. The sweet old lady closes at noon!
Burp!
Saturday, November 7, 2009
In memory of my BAPAK
It was that faithful Hari Raya day when we came to know each other,
I was fore-warned of your shyness and thus the keenness to hide yourself from others, especially strangers.
I walked into your home and your smile brightened the hall;
As if we have known each other in another time, in another space;
I greeted you and your reply started our conversation... for a lifetime;
You were far from the shy man whom I was expected to meet;
As you and I chatted the afternoon away,
In my broken Malay and you filled my broken statements with warm words;
To the amazement of all, we connected.
The days passed and the years followed,
The day came when I uttered the word BAPAK in all the glory of respect for you.
You accepted my calling with the usual humbleness, only matched by my honour to have you receive it.
Your days in the hospital with the dreadful illness punctured all our hearts.
But not our spirits.
For in your cool, calm and quietness, you exuded peace, joy and happiness.
I still remembered our private chat the morning I returned from Australia.
Not many words but whatever we uttered was definitely thick in meaning.
A picture is worth a thousand words.
But what we had that morning was worth a million pictures.
It has been 8 years Bapak since you left us.
Although the years I have spent with you was not many.
But the quality time we had was certainly worth a lifetime.
We miss you.
I was fore-warned of your shyness and thus the keenness to hide yourself from others, especially strangers.
I walked into your home and your smile brightened the hall;
As if we have known each other in another time, in another space;
I greeted you and your reply started our conversation... for a lifetime;
You were far from the shy man whom I was expected to meet;
As you and I chatted the afternoon away,
In my broken Malay and you filled my broken statements with warm words;
To the amazement of all, we connected.
The days passed and the years followed,
The day came when I uttered the word BAPAK in all the glory of respect for you.
You accepted my calling with the usual humbleness, only matched by my honour to have you receive it.
Your days in the hospital with the dreadful illness punctured all our hearts.
But not our spirits.
For in your cool, calm and quietness, you exuded peace, joy and happiness.
I still remembered our private chat the morning I returned from Australia.
Not many words but whatever we uttered was definitely thick in meaning.
A picture is worth a thousand words.
But what we had that morning was worth a million pictures.
It has been 8 years Bapak since you left us.
Although the years I have spent with you was not many.
But the quality time we had was certainly worth a lifetime.
We miss you.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
A Halloween poem by my 11 year-old princess
Come one, come all, it's Halloween,
The spookiest festival you ever seen,
Where ghost and the undead come out to play,
So if you're scared get out of the way.
Jack-o-lanterns, trick or treat galore,
Get ready the candy cos we're at your door,
Dressed up as witches, zombies or ghosts,
Out comes the candy together with the host.
The spooky evening, the eerie night,
The darkness surrounds the planet with fright,
The time comes when we go to bed.
Then out comes the legion of the undead.
Shadowy figures, so silent they are,
Come from the grave not so far,
So people beware, you're in for a scare,
Cause it's Halloween tonight!
Come one, come all, it's Halloween,
The spookiest festival you ever seen,
Where ghost and the undead come out to play,
So if you're scared get out of the way.
Jack-o-lanterns, trick or treat galore,
Get ready the candy cos we're at your door,
Dressed up as witches, zombies or ghosts,
Out comes the candy together with the host.
The spooky evening, the eerie night,
The darkness surrounds the planet with fright,
The time comes when we go to bed.
Then out comes the legion of the undead.
Shadowy figures, so silent they are,
Come from the grave not so far,
So people beware, you're in for a scare,
Cause it's Halloween tonight!
The spookiest festival you ever seen,
Where ghost and the undead come out to play,
So if you're scared get out of the way.
Jack-o-lanterns, trick or treat galore,
Get ready the candy cos we're at your door,
Dressed up as witches, zombies or ghosts,
Out comes the candy together with the host.
The spooky evening, the eerie night,
The darkness surrounds the planet with fright,
The time comes when we go to bed.
Then out comes the legion of the undead.
Shadowy figures, so silent they are,
Come from the grave not so far,
So people beware, you're in for a scare,
Cause it's Halloween tonight!
Come one, come all, it's Halloween,
The spookiest festival you ever seen,
Where ghost and the undead come out to play,
So if you're scared get out of the way.
Jack-o-lanterns, trick or treat galore,
Get ready the candy cos we're at your door,
Dressed up as witches, zombies or ghosts,
Out comes the candy together with the host.
The spooky evening, the eerie night,
The darkness surrounds the planet with fright,
The time comes when we go to bed.
Then out comes the legion of the undead.
Shadowy figures, so silent they are,
Come from the grave not so far,
So people beware, you're in for a scare,
Cause it's Halloween tonight!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
When good is bad... Why so much hate can come from so much love?
"Please take your medication.
Eat your vegetable.
You sing so well.
Wow! You speak many languages.
Where are you?"
These remarks, like many others, can come from all the right premises.
GOOD and LOVE.
Most times, it can become BAD and HATRED.
WHY?
When a person who loves you and possibly whom you love wants to show their love when you are ill asks you to take your medication, sometimes, most times, in your agitated manner or the sign of the state, comes drastic unneccessary reply of 'You think I can't take care of myself?'; 'Stop nagging!", 'I am NOT a baby!' and so on.
When a colleague can sing well or speaks many different languages, you may think he or she is a threat to your fiefdom of what you think you do best; rather than celebrate in the enjoyment of a good rendition or the glory of pride in what a friend can do.
When you are late for dinner, 'WHERE ARE YOU?' becomes an insult although your parents have heard the news of a 5 car pile up on the highway you are on and worried that you may be dead will always be met by verbal or mental utterations of 'Aiyo! I am on my way la. You think I dont need to work is it?' or something along those lines.
WHY? WHY? WHY?
Why can so much hate be a result of so much love?
If you are looking for an answer, I have none to offer.
I myself falls victim to this 'disease' that threatens the fabric of our being.
Is it incurable?
Well, if we leave it alone,it will consume you.
I now take a 3 breaths plus positive thinking approach to the problem.
And before it is too late.
Why 3 breaths?
Because in the nature of my fire-ry disposition and the curse of directness, my 'love' can be also be interpreted as hatred. What I mean good can be bad.
3 breaths is a place holder for the time I can put what I want to express - usually negative and with a tone to accompany it - into something less prickly to not just the ears but to the heart.
This entry aims to seek more intelligent answers to this question that may result in separation although still very much in love; subversion of a colleague although collaboration for joint success should be the way; or simply achieving happiness together by expressing love in the right way, manner and tone.
Another thing, do not hold back the sharing of happiness cause life is too short and unpredictable.
You may not have a chance. And that is the ultimate regret. For all.
Eat your vegetable.
You sing so well.
Wow! You speak many languages.
Where are you?"
These remarks, like many others, can come from all the right premises.
GOOD and LOVE.
Most times, it can become BAD and HATRED.
WHY?
When a person who loves you and possibly whom you love wants to show their love when you are ill asks you to take your medication, sometimes, most times, in your agitated manner or the sign of the state, comes drastic unneccessary reply of 'You think I can't take care of myself?'; 'Stop nagging!", 'I am NOT a baby!' and so on.
When a colleague can sing well or speaks many different languages, you may think he or she is a threat to your fiefdom of what you think you do best; rather than celebrate in the enjoyment of a good rendition or the glory of pride in what a friend can do.
When you are late for dinner, 'WHERE ARE YOU?' becomes an insult although your parents have heard the news of a 5 car pile up on the highway you are on and worried that you may be dead will always be met by verbal or mental utterations of 'Aiyo! I am on my way la. You think I dont need to work is it?' or something along those lines.
WHY? WHY? WHY?
Why can so much hate be a result of so much love?
If you are looking for an answer, I have none to offer.
I myself falls victim to this 'disease' that threatens the fabric of our being.
Is it incurable?
Well, if we leave it alone,it will consume you.
I now take a 3 breaths plus positive thinking approach to the problem.
And before it is too late.
Why 3 breaths?
Because in the nature of my fire-ry disposition and the curse of directness, my 'love' can be also be interpreted as hatred. What I mean good can be bad.
3 breaths is a place holder for the time I can put what I want to express - usually negative and with a tone to accompany it - into something less prickly to not just the ears but to the heart.
This entry aims to seek more intelligent answers to this question that may result in separation although still very much in love; subversion of a colleague although collaboration for joint success should be the way; or simply achieving happiness together by expressing love in the right way, manner and tone.
Another thing, do not hold back the sharing of happiness cause life is too short and unpredictable.
You may not have a chance. And that is the ultimate regret. For all.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
When personal inadequacies become someone else's problem
Day in day out we see different interpretations of the same incidence producing different perspectives because of the observers' personal experiences.
Not right.
Not wrong.
Just different.
However, many of these interpretations become a problem - usually for other people - because of the observer's insecurity and bias.
The real question is why make your own shortcomings someone else's problem?
The answer is awareness, acknowledgment, acceptance - or the lack of it.
Many a times, the person is not even aware that he/she has made it someone else's problem.
And sometimes, eventhough he/she is aware of it, refuses to acknowledge that it is a problem.
And worse, hard headed stubbornness prevents one from accepting that he/she is the problem.
And what follows in amendment to advance totally is dust to the wind!
Many is blinded by arrogance and numbed by insecurity to see all this.
And the lowest hanging fruit or easiest way is to blame it on others.
It immediately no longer is their problem.
In the hierachical world, whether corporations or community, this has become a disease.
Sometimes it even brings an incentive like paying millions to CEOs who cannot perform to leave.
That does not only bewilders me but also bother me like hell.
However, it remains the easiest way to transfer one's shortcoming to another and make it their problem.
What these people does not understand is that the world is getting smarter, people are having more choices, and they have the opportunity to not choose them anymore.
So wake up you insecure pitiful people.
Learn not to blame.
Learn to embrace.
Learn to appreciate.
Learn to be humble and in so doing become great!
Not right.
Not wrong.
Just different.
However, many of these interpretations become a problem - usually for other people - because of the observer's insecurity and bias.
The real question is why make your own shortcomings someone else's problem?
The answer is awareness, acknowledgment, acceptance - or the lack of it.
Many a times, the person is not even aware that he/she has made it someone else's problem.
And sometimes, eventhough he/she is aware of it, refuses to acknowledge that it is a problem.
And worse, hard headed stubbornness prevents one from accepting that he/she is the problem.
And what follows in amendment to advance totally is dust to the wind!
Many is blinded by arrogance and numbed by insecurity to see all this.
And the lowest hanging fruit or easiest way is to blame it on others.
It immediately no longer is their problem.
In the hierachical world, whether corporations or community, this has become a disease.
Sometimes it even brings an incentive like paying millions to CEOs who cannot perform to leave.
That does not only bewilders me but also bother me like hell.
However, it remains the easiest way to transfer one's shortcoming to another and make it their problem.
What these people does not understand is that the world is getting smarter, people are having more choices, and they have the opportunity to not choose them anymore.
So wake up you insecure pitiful people.
Learn not to blame.
Learn to embrace.
Learn to appreciate.
Learn to be humble and in so doing become great!
Monday, August 10, 2009
As I was passing... these 47 years!
Many celebrates the date when they come into this world...
Many does not have a chance to celebrate it...
Many may not have a chance to celebrate the next...
Yet many hate to know that another is coming.
Whatever it may be, it is not something that is within your control...
And I do not mean the cake nor the decorations!
Birthdays... why is it of such significance to our life... long or short?
Is it a countdown to death or a count-up to living?
Birthdays I believe, was created to denote a coming of ...
Life - during times when living pass your first year was a miracle;
Success - when you have made it... and you have lots of people whom admire you and look up to you;
Seniority - when you now sit, rather than stand at ceremonies;
Demonstration of love - by your family and friends;
Pain - of older and less healthy age and independence.
Life, as it is, is a continuum .. of course until the day that it is terminated.
Therefore birthdays should be celebrated based on level of happiness and to have health to enjoy it.
Birthdays therefore should be celebrated everyday.. to give thanks to what we have and what we can give; that we can love someone who loves us back, and to have yet another chance to live our life the way we want to and not just being alive.
Birthdays should include moments of quiet reflection upon the years you have chalked up, moments to speak to yourself which we do so little these days; moments to be aware of your past, acknowledge your good, bad and ugly; accept your failures; amend to do better and then advance to being a happier person to spread joy by making others happy!
Now that is a birthday worth celebrating, everyday, no matter how long or short one lives.
Therefore birthdays, like lives, are not about the passage of time and the wrinkling of skin but the way one lives it as you enjoy a smooth and happy ride through the experiences of life!
Many does not have a chance to celebrate it...
Many may not have a chance to celebrate the next...
Yet many hate to know that another is coming.
Whatever it may be, it is not something that is within your control...
And I do not mean the cake nor the decorations!
Birthdays... why is it of such significance to our life... long or short?
Is it a countdown to death or a count-up to living?
Birthdays I believe, was created to denote a coming of ...
Life - during times when living pass your first year was a miracle;
Success - when you have made it... and you have lots of people whom admire you and look up to you;
Seniority - when you now sit, rather than stand at ceremonies;
Demonstration of love - by your family and friends;
Pain - of older and less healthy age and independence.
Life, as it is, is a continuum .. of course until the day that it is terminated.
Therefore birthdays should be celebrated based on level of happiness and to have health to enjoy it.
Birthdays therefore should be celebrated everyday.. to give thanks to what we have and what we can give; that we can love someone who loves us back, and to have yet another chance to live our life the way we want to and not just being alive.
Birthdays should include moments of quiet reflection upon the years you have chalked up, moments to speak to yourself which we do so little these days; moments to be aware of your past, acknowledge your good, bad and ugly; accept your failures; amend to do better and then advance to being a happier person to spread joy by making others happy!
Now that is a birthday worth celebrating, everyday, no matter how long or short one lives.
Therefore birthdays, like lives, are not about the passage of time and the wrinkling of skin but the way one lives it as you enjoy a smooth and happy ride through the experiences of life!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Yasmin - a recognition for bringing us back in touch with ourselves.
Many said that as we grow up, we surpress many of the feelings we have when we were young!
It is called the lost of INNOCENCE.
Well, why?
It sometimes is deemed impolite to say things we can when we were small; too politically sensitive to discuss a topic we feel passionate about; express our feelings to another the way we feel it or simply talk about a person uncensored.
We have lost BEING OURSELVES for reasons of sensitivity, culture, shame ...
The magic of Yasmin is to help us relive all these through advertisements and movies - away from ourselves but still can be enjoyed by all. She has allowed us to say things without saying; doing things without starting the deed and feel things which we are conditioned to feel as taboo or simply forgotten.
Yasmin, you have touched many lives in the course of yours.
Through your back-to-human-basics on relationship between human beings, you have conjured and re-activated the feelings we have somewhat lost or shy and afraid to talk about.
Your MERDEKA series of adverts and lately FUNERAL for MCYS is clear examples you take life to the highest level of maturity by bringing it back to the lowest common denominator of basics.
Your SEPET touched many hearts, erasing the color sensitive lenses we have been taught to have; your TAN HONG MING is simply magical to let us re-discover the innocence we still have in us. Your CHINESE NEW YEAR - OLD FOLKS HOME puts success and happiness as far apart as it should ever be and bring it back together again by redefining them.
You have given us so much in ways you will not ever imagine.
Families are touched by FUNERAL. Relationships are made possible by SEPET. And communities move to a new level of relationship through your MERDEKA ads.
You have given us back the sense of being OURSELVES.
I thank you and will miss this Merdeka more than all previous as you are not here to help us retell our stories in ways we are afraid to do.
It is called the lost of INNOCENCE.
Well, why?
It sometimes is deemed impolite to say things we can when we were small; too politically sensitive to discuss a topic we feel passionate about; express our feelings to another the way we feel it or simply talk about a person uncensored.
We have lost BEING OURSELVES for reasons of sensitivity, culture, shame ...
The magic of Yasmin is to help us relive all these through advertisements and movies - away from ourselves but still can be enjoyed by all. She has allowed us to say things without saying; doing things without starting the deed and feel things which we are conditioned to feel as taboo or simply forgotten.
Yasmin, you have touched many lives in the course of yours.
Through your back-to-human-basics on relationship between human beings, you have conjured and re-activated the feelings we have somewhat lost or shy and afraid to talk about.
Your MERDEKA series of adverts and lately FUNERAL for MCYS is clear examples you take life to the highest level of maturity by bringing it back to the lowest common denominator of basics.
Your SEPET touched many hearts, erasing the color sensitive lenses we have been taught to have; your TAN HONG MING is simply magical to let us re-discover the innocence we still have in us. Your CHINESE NEW YEAR - OLD FOLKS HOME puts success and happiness as far apart as it should ever be and bring it back together again by redefining them.
You have given us so much in ways you will not ever imagine.
Families are touched by FUNERAL. Relationships are made possible by SEPET. And communities move to a new level of relationship through your MERDEKA ads.
You have given us back the sense of being OURSELVES.
I thank you and will miss this Merdeka more than all previous as you are not here to help us retell our stories in ways we are afraid to do.
EULOGY - one for yourself
EULOGY are usually great things you say about someone after they have passed on ... and therefore the person have no chance to hear what you say about them. What a waste!
So for a reflective moment, think of what you THINK your eulogy would be ...
Here is mine .. about me ... by me ...
He came with nothing.
He went away with love - not for what he has done but for what he has learnt.
In his process of learning, he has given us challenges, some we hate him for. some that brings a smile in our hearts. Flamboyant to a fault - not in dressing but in style.
Never know what NO is but understand when you said it.
We criticize his being, we hate his guts, we admire his determination and laugh at his impatience.
For whatever it is worth, he has brought a moment of hope in moments of despair; a moment of anger to reflect on moments of calm and appreciation, a moment of smile in times of need and pain.
We hate him for taking it all away now.
We love him for giving us a chance to experience it, with him.
Go forth my friend.
Bring more the next time you come around.
So for a reflective moment, think of what you THINK your eulogy would be ...
Here is mine .. about me ... by me ...
He came with nothing.
He went away with love - not for what he has done but for what he has learnt.
In his process of learning, he has given us challenges, some we hate him for. some that brings a smile in our hearts. Flamboyant to a fault - not in dressing but in style.
Never know what NO is but understand when you said it.
We criticize his being, we hate his guts, we admire his determination and laugh at his impatience.
For whatever it is worth, he has brought a moment of hope in moments of despair; a moment of anger to reflect on moments of calm and appreciation, a moment of smile in times of need and pain.
We hate him for taking it all away now.
We love him for giving us a chance to experience it, with him.
Go forth my friend.
Bring more the next time you come around.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
ARROGANCE ... confidence or the lack of?
In our lifetime, I am sure we have been given abundance of opportunity to be successful and have equal chances of meeting people who have been.
In the so called successful crowd, we also see those whom we term ARROGANT and those who are nice.
The question is why are people arrogant?
I put it to a game of golf. Par. Under. Over.
And in this game, over is bad.
As one sets expectations in life, one can also mis-judge and set wrongly .. bring par higher. To me arrogance comes when the arrogant person achieved what he/she thought she cannot .. and if this gets repeated, he/she gets the feeling that he/she is invincible and un-failable! Like hitting under-par with birdies all the time!
So it is all in the EXPECTATION and the TREATMENT of success..
Like life, nothing is guaranteed ... Neither is success.
Therefore arrogance can be short-lived and erodes real friendship .. that may lead to future successes.
In the so called successful crowd, we also see those whom we term ARROGANT and those who are nice.
The question is why are people arrogant?
I put it to a game of golf. Par. Under. Over.
And in this game, over is bad.
As one sets expectations in life, one can also mis-judge and set wrongly .. bring par higher. To me arrogance comes when the arrogant person achieved what he/she thought she cannot .. and if this gets repeated, he/she gets the feeling that he/she is invincible and un-failable! Like hitting under-par with birdies all the time!
So it is all in the EXPECTATION and the TREATMENT of success..
Like life, nothing is guaranteed ... Neither is success.
Therefore arrogance can be short-lived and erodes real friendship .. that may lead to future successes.
21/12/2012 ... what if it is true?
Much have been talked about the end of the world ...
During my almost 47 years of living on this planet, it has been talked about a number of times .. sometimes perpetrated by religious fanatics who is too eager to punish what they called sinners!
Now comes a new one ... 2012!
December 21, 2012!
There are sites that proclaimed that the Mayan and the Chinese I-Ching has predicted it ... even to the degree that a film is made in its name, hopefully to enjoy release before the blessed date!
There are counter arguments in http://www.greatdreams.com/2012.htm which said it is untrue.
Just for the next 5 minutes, indulge in a scenario that it is true.
WHAT WILL YOU DO?
Will you live the next 3 years plus in absolute enjoyment?
This is a Bucket 1 incident (please refer to my earlier blog entry on Of Death. Of Life...).. canNOT be changed.
Will you see life differently?
Will you love more and hate less?
Will you smile more and frown less?
To a small degree, July 1, 1997 for Hong Kong has similar feeling.
Although it is not the end of the world - maybe it was to some - it has a taste of terminal to it.
So on December 20, 2012 - what will your thoughts be?
Huddle your love ones in front of the TV?
Surrender your fate and faith to God?
Feel regretful about things you did not do?
Feel regretful of things that you have done?
What if there is a December 23, 2012 ... will this moment make us a better race and making the blue planet a more gracious society of love, care and life?
And regret that it needs such a reminder to wake us up again.
During my almost 47 years of living on this planet, it has been talked about a number of times .. sometimes perpetrated by religious fanatics who is too eager to punish what they called sinners!
Now comes a new one ... 2012!
December 21, 2012!
There are sites that proclaimed that the Mayan and the Chinese I-Ching has predicted it ... even to the degree that a film is made in its name, hopefully to enjoy release before the blessed date!
There are counter arguments in http://www.greatdreams.com/2012.htm which said it is untrue.
Just for the next 5 minutes, indulge in a scenario that it is true.
WHAT WILL YOU DO?
Will you live the next 3 years plus in absolute enjoyment?
This is a Bucket 1 incident (please refer to my earlier blog entry on Of Death. Of Life...).. canNOT be changed.
Will you see life differently?
Will you love more and hate less?
Will you smile more and frown less?
To a small degree, July 1, 1997 for Hong Kong has similar feeling.
Although it is not the end of the world - maybe it was to some - it has a taste of terminal to it.
So on December 20, 2012 - what will your thoughts be?
Huddle your love ones in front of the TV?
Surrender your fate and faith to God?
Feel regretful about things you did not do?
Feel regretful of things that you have done?
What if there is a December 23, 2012 ... will this moment make us a better race and making the blue planet a more gracious society of love, care and life?
And regret that it needs such a reminder to wake us up again.
Friday, July 17, 2009
RESPECT - bestowed and not claimed.
Aretha Franklin coos ... All I'm askin' (oo)... Is for a little respect when you come home (just a little bit)
RESPECT is to be BESTOWED and EARNED and not ASKED OF nor CLAIMED.
Many makes the mistakes that this comes automatically with age and with status.
Well, pirated versions of it maybe but not the true genuine ones.
RESPECT is a weird element.
It is a REALIZATION of someone's value and dignity and trust ... and is BESTOWED upon those who so deserves it.
An incident in my niece's school put me on the blood-trail of comments about RESPECT.
A so-called educator tried educating the students on RESPECT by literally bitching about why she was NOT invited to a gathering ... because she is a teacher! Kids nowadays sees far more than when I was their age; learn more; experience more and definitely know more. By humiliating a child into truly respecting oneself is not the name of the game, not anymore.
Many who share the box where I tick my age will tell you that in our days, RESPECT sometimes is equated with FEAR. At least the representation of RESPECT at that time. But deep in our hearts, we know who we REALLY respect.
So RESPECT = FEAR is so last century!
Welcome the new era of RESPECT = I dig you! I know what you are about! And I like it! is in.
RESPECT is to be BESTOWED and EARNED and not ASKED OF nor CLAIMED.
Many makes the mistakes that this comes automatically with age and with status.
Well, pirated versions of it maybe but not the true genuine ones.
RESPECT is a weird element.
It is a REALIZATION of someone's value and dignity and trust ... and is BESTOWED upon those who so deserves it.
An incident in my niece's school put me on the blood-trail of comments about RESPECT.
A so-called educator tried educating the students on RESPECT by literally bitching about why she was NOT invited to a gathering ... because she is a teacher! Kids nowadays sees far more than when I was their age; learn more; experience more and definitely know more. By humiliating a child into truly respecting oneself is not the name of the game, not anymore.
Many who share the box where I tick my age will tell you that in our days, RESPECT sometimes is equated with FEAR. At least the representation of RESPECT at that time. But deep in our hearts, we know who we REALLY respect.
So RESPECT = FEAR is so last century!
Welcome the new era of RESPECT = I dig you! I know what you are about! And I like it! is in.
Of death. Of birth. And everything in between.
Life is a full circle.
In the words of 'comedian-writer' Emma Bombeck, you know when your parents are old when you become their parents! Or is it when YOU are old!
In the words of my esteemed grandmother, "You come with nothing. You go with nothing. Enjoy life and enrich others," becomes a sublime understanding to help, to not-sweat-the-small-stuff, to experience and to live and not just being alive.
In my terms, one has to come to terms with 2 buckets - one that you can change and one that you cannot. And use the CAN to flank the CANNOT.
Profound? I have no idea.
Inspiring? Hardly.
Pragmatic? Easily so.
As I age, or rather amass more enriching experiences - some happy, some bitter, some ugly, some scary - I have come to understand that many tends to spin their life on top of this tip of the bull's horn which eventually hurts only oneself. Many tend not to be able to see beyond the WHATs into the WHYs. And keep asking why about the WHATs, which sometime may yield the answer one is not looking for ... nor is prepared to accept. So then why ask WHY about the WHATs?
Life as it is, is basically a good second-by-second undertaking - willingly or otherwise - happenings around us, parallel to the passage of the dimension called time.
Tick-tock, tick-tock. A countdown to the end. A count-up to experience. You decide.
Therefore if you cannot be in any control of time passing (bucket 1 = canNOT change), then use bucket 2 = CAN change to make it pleasurable, enriching and put smiles on faces!
So start your day with not what you dislike. Start your day with what can you do about what you dislike. You will be surprised at the panaromic view you will have to the myriad of choices you have wgich you may not be aware of. May be as simple as SMILE to YOURSELF. Or as complex as solving life threatening issues! You choose!
Life is too short to be angry, especially with yourself. And for the vain folks, it is definitely too short to grow wrinkles over!
And hey, who says that LIFE has to end when you die!
In the words of 'comedian-writer' Emma Bombeck, you know when your parents are old when you become their parents! Or is it when YOU are old!
In the words of my esteemed grandmother, "You come with nothing. You go with nothing. Enjoy life and enrich others," becomes a sublime understanding to help, to not-sweat-the-small-stuff, to experience and to live and not just being alive.
In my terms, one has to come to terms with 2 buckets - one that you can change and one that you cannot. And use the CAN to flank the CANNOT.
Profound? I have no idea.
Inspiring? Hardly.
Pragmatic? Easily so.
As I age, or rather amass more enriching experiences - some happy, some bitter, some ugly, some scary - I have come to understand that many tends to spin their life on top of this tip of the bull's horn which eventually hurts only oneself. Many tend not to be able to see beyond the WHATs into the WHYs. And keep asking why about the WHATs, which sometime may yield the answer one is not looking for ... nor is prepared to accept. So then why ask WHY about the WHATs?
Life as it is, is basically a good second-by-second undertaking - willingly or otherwise - happenings around us, parallel to the passage of the dimension called time.
Tick-tock, tick-tock. A countdown to the end. A count-up to experience. You decide.
Therefore if you cannot be in any control of time passing (bucket 1 = canNOT change), then use bucket 2 = CAN change to make it pleasurable, enriching and put smiles on faces!
So start your day with not what you dislike. Start your day with what can you do about what you dislike. You will be surprised at the panaromic view you will have to the myriad of choices you have wgich you may not be aware of. May be as simple as SMILE to YOURSELF. Or as complex as solving life threatening issues! You choose!
Life is too short to be angry, especially with yourself. And for the vain folks, it is definitely too short to grow wrinkles over!
And hey, who says that LIFE has to end when you die!
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