ULTIMATE HAPPINESS... The true end-in-mind of life and living
Many of us - yours truly included - tends to put things off, procrastinate. Excuse being, we will do it tomorrow. This is then cushioned by our human ability of making excuses for everything we want to do.. or in this case, not!
Now for a minute there ponder this. Why do we always think that there is a tomorrow? As the song goes.. 'If tomorrow never comes..', what would you do?
The greatest regret anyone can have is to be drawing our last breath and having it! Regret(s) that is!
Firstly, if the ultimate happiness is the end-in-mind, regrets must first be minimised or eliminated, or even better, not be created.
What are regrets?
Something that we want to do, hopeully in the creation of happiness, that we failed to, owing to whatever reasons.
So first, NO REGRETS.
Do not ever regret doing anything.
In my Bucket 1 and 2 discussion in earlier blog entries where Bucket 1 contain things that you canNOT change and Bucket 2, things that you have control over, you have every tool to cushion the impact of Bucket 1. Also to my earlier entries on THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HUMAN AND AN ANIMAL IS THE ABILITY TO MAKE EXCUSES FOR THINGS THEY WANT TO DO, brings me to the fact that if you have chosen to do what you want to do, then let that be the choice, good, bad or ugly as it may be. Live by the consequences. Do not for a minute think about what it could have been if you did not. (Well, that should already be part of the analysis BEFORE you did what you did)
Why? Because if you did it, you cannot go back in time and not do it. (Read : UN-doing something is not the same as NOT DOING it in the first place! Have you seen the crack on a broken porcelain plate glued back?). This SHOULD NOT give you an excuse not to make amends... a crack is still better than a broken plate, although not perfect.
Second.. DO IT NOW!
If you do not know if you are going to live tomorrow, why wait?
In my Facebook survey on 'If this is the last weekend that you know you have to live, what would you do?' came scary and sometimes sad answers like 'I will call my parents up and tell them how much I love them' and 'I will walk up to the person I have loved secretly for so long and tell him/her how I feel'. Hmmm... my supposition is a future date.. what if you die tomorrow... You will be drawing your last breath, with regret. And guess what, you cannot do anything about it!
Why wait to whatever future time to do it... DO IT NOW!
Lastly.. DO NOT DELAY HAPPINESS.
Money. Health. Relationship. All these are part of a myriad of components where happiness can be derived. It is however also a source of the opposite. Heard of the fight stemmed from will reading? Or two people being jealous of one another in the excuse of love.
HAPPINESS is the end-result, end-in-mind. It is not the components. If having money brings you happiness, then be it.. but will you be happy being the richest person when you are suffering from a disease? On the other hand, even if you are sick, can you not be happy?
Having someone to love who loves you - and at the same time (see why a delay in this case on either side will result in very different outcome) - is the most blessed thing one can have in a lifetime.. whether rich or poor, healthy or otherwise. But there are people who does not express their love.. and regret it... only to find out that the other person suffered from the same...
So what to do so that HAPPINESS is NOT DELAYED?
Well, if you have bought a birthday present today for someone whose birthday is 5 days down the road, give it now. It gives the recepient 5 days more of happiness... and you too! Tell your loved ones that you love them, NOW! Go out and have yourself that meal and start today and save up for the dream trip or simply take a day off to be with yourself.
What ever that brings you HAPPINESS... NOW!
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Kuala Terengganu - a breath of fresh air... and GREAT food... at wonderful prices
I cannot remember when I was last in Kuala Terengganu (KT) but I can remember it was not a clean town, smelly and with clogged drains!
This Good Friday weekend changed all that.
We flew up from Singapore to Kuala Lumpur and drive with the family to KT on the very scenic highway... bypassing (and not missing) Kuantan.
We stopped at Kemaman for the famed stuffed crab but was utterly disappointed. It was relatively expensive at RM7 each but was dry and unflavourful.
Finally, we arrived at KT, not before we stopped along the way to buy some SATAR, a sweet fish-chillie barbqued concoction, followed by boiled sweetcorn and peanuts. Yummy!
We rushed out to get my all time fav - keropok lekor.. You can have it steamed or fried...
Next we ended in KT and ate dinner at a HALAL Chinese seafood restaurant near the hotel (next to one called OCEAN). Food was good although the environment can be better. We saw many having steamboat. Guess it is their specialty, We celebrated dad's birthday there.
Next morning was a start of a marathon of food.. started with fried radish cake at Kampung Tiong with historic relevance (The first well where Chinese settlers get their water), Paung - the ever wonderful baked fresh bread, with or without the coconut fillings; nasi kerabu - vegetarian rice; pulut liper...
Lunch was at ERWINA nasi padang - RM92 for 10 people and lots of good food!
Dinner was from a stall beside the Batu Buruk beach road - from nasi lemak, nasi kuning, nasi kunyit and my ever favorite nasi dagang! YUMMY!!!!! All at RM2.50 each!
Next morning, we left early, with over 40 plates of roti paung in tow and over 60 pulut liper to buy the ever famous nasi dagang from Mak Ngah - a pink 2-story house on the way from KT to KL - 10 mins away from town center. Go early. The sweet old lady closes at noon!
Burp!
This Good Friday weekend changed all that.
We flew up from Singapore to Kuala Lumpur and drive with the family to KT on the very scenic highway... bypassing (and not missing) Kuantan.
We stopped at Kemaman for the famed stuffed crab but was utterly disappointed. It was relatively expensive at RM7 each but was dry and unflavourful.
Finally, we arrived at KT, not before we stopped along the way to buy some SATAR, a sweet fish-chillie barbqued concoction, followed by boiled sweetcorn and peanuts. Yummy!
We rushed out to get my all time fav - keropok lekor.. You can have it steamed or fried...
Next we ended in KT and ate dinner at a HALAL Chinese seafood restaurant near the hotel (next to one called OCEAN). Food was good although the environment can be better. We saw many having steamboat. Guess it is their specialty, We celebrated dad's birthday there.
Next morning was a start of a marathon of food.. started with fried radish cake at Kampung Tiong with historic relevance (The first well where Chinese settlers get their water), Paung - the ever wonderful baked fresh bread, with or without the coconut fillings; nasi kerabu - vegetarian rice; pulut liper...
Lunch was at ERWINA nasi padang - RM92 for 10 people and lots of good food!
Dinner was from a stall beside the Batu Buruk beach road - from nasi lemak, nasi kuning, nasi kunyit and my ever favorite nasi dagang! YUMMY!!!!! All at RM2.50 each!
Next morning, we left early, with over 40 plates of roti paung in tow and over 60 pulut liper to buy the ever famous nasi dagang from Mak Ngah - a pink 2-story house on the way from KT to KL - 10 mins away from town center. Go early. The sweet old lady closes at noon!
Burp!
Saturday, November 7, 2009
In memory of my BAPAK
It was that faithful Hari Raya day when we came to know each other,
I was fore-warned of your shyness and thus the keenness to hide yourself from others, especially strangers.
I walked into your home and your smile brightened the hall;
As if we have known each other in another time, in another space;
I greeted you and your reply started our conversation... for a lifetime;
You were far from the shy man whom I was expected to meet;
As you and I chatted the afternoon away,
In my broken Malay and you filled my broken statements with warm words;
To the amazement of all, we connected.
The days passed and the years followed,
The day came when I uttered the word BAPAK in all the glory of respect for you.
You accepted my calling with the usual humbleness, only matched by my honour to have you receive it.
Your days in the hospital with the dreadful illness punctured all our hearts.
But not our spirits.
For in your cool, calm and quietness, you exuded peace, joy and happiness.
I still remembered our private chat the morning I returned from Australia.
Not many words but whatever we uttered was definitely thick in meaning.
A picture is worth a thousand words.
But what we had that morning was worth a million pictures.
It has been 8 years Bapak since you left us.
Although the years I have spent with you was not many.
But the quality time we had was certainly worth a lifetime.
We miss you.
I was fore-warned of your shyness and thus the keenness to hide yourself from others, especially strangers.
I walked into your home and your smile brightened the hall;
As if we have known each other in another time, in another space;
I greeted you and your reply started our conversation... for a lifetime;
You were far from the shy man whom I was expected to meet;
As you and I chatted the afternoon away,
In my broken Malay and you filled my broken statements with warm words;
To the amazement of all, we connected.
The days passed and the years followed,
The day came when I uttered the word BAPAK in all the glory of respect for you.
You accepted my calling with the usual humbleness, only matched by my honour to have you receive it.
Your days in the hospital with the dreadful illness punctured all our hearts.
But not our spirits.
For in your cool, calm and quietness, you exuded peace, joy and happiness.
I still remembered our private chat the morning I returned from Australia.
Not many words but whatever we uttered was definitely thick in meaning.
A picture is worth a thousand words.
But what we had that morning was worth a million pictures.
It has been 8 years Bapak since you left us.
Although the years I have spent with you was not many.
But the quality time we had was certainly worth a lifetime.
We miss you.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
A Halloween poem by my 11 year-old princess
Come one, come all, it's Halloween,
The spookiest festival you ever seen,
Where ghost and the undead come out to play,
So if you're scared get out of the way.
Jack-o-lanterns, trick or treat galore,
Get ready the candy cos we're at your door,
Dressed up as witches, zombies or ghosts,
Out comes the candy together with the host.
The spooky evening, the eerie night,
The darkness surrounds the planet with fright,
The time comes when we go to bed.
Then out comes the legion of the undead.
Shadowy figures, so silent they are,
Come from the grave not so far,
So people beware, you're in for a scare,
Cause it's Halloween tonight!
Come one, come all, it's Halloween,
The spookiest festival you ever seen,
Where ghost and the undead come out to play,
So if you're scared get out of the way.
Jack-o-lanterns, trick or treat galore,
Get ready the candy cos we're at your door,
Dressed up as witches, zombies or ghosts,
Out comes the candy together with the host.
The spooky evening, the eerie night,
The darkness surrounds the planet with fright,
The time comes when we go to bed.
Then out comes the legion of the undead.
Shadowy figures, so silent they are,
Come from the grave not so far,
So people beware, you're in for a scare,
Cause it's Halloween tonight!
The spookiest festival you ever seen,
Where ghost and the undead come out to play,
So if you're scared get out of the way.
Jack-o-lanterns, trick or treat galore,
Get ready the candy cos we're at your door,
Dressed up as witches, zombies or ghosts,
Out comes the candy together with the host.
The spooky evening, the eerie night,
The darkness surrounds the planet with fright,
The time comes when we go to bed.
Then out comes the legion of the undead.
Shadowy figures, so silent they are,
Come from the grave not so far,
So people beware, you're in for a scare,
Cause it's Halloween tonight!
Come one, come all, it's Halloween,
The spookiest festival you ever seen,
Where ghost and the undead come out to play,
So if you're scared get out of the way.
Jack-o-lanterns, trick or treat galore,
Get ready the candy cos we're at your door,
Dressed up as witches, zombies or ghosts,
Out comes the candy together with the host.
The spooky evening, the eerie night,
The darkness surrounds the planet with fright,
The time comes when we go to bed.
Then out comes the legion of the undead.
Shadowy figures, so silent they are,
Come from the grave not so far,
So people beware, you're in for a scare,
Cause it's Halloween tonight!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
When good is bad... Why so much hate can come from so much love?
"Please take your medication.
Eat your vegetable.
You sing so well.
Wow! You speak many languages.
Where are you?"
These remarks, like many others, can come from all the right premises.
GOOD and LOVE.
Most times, it can become BAD and HATRED.
WHY?
When a person who loves you and possibly whom you love wants to show their love when you are ill asks you to take your medication, sometimes, most times, in your agitated manner or the sign of the state, comes drastic unneccessary reply of 'You think I can't take care of myself?'; 'Stop nagging!", 'I am NOT a baby!' and so on.
When a colleague can sing well or speaks many different languages, you may think he or she is a threat to your fiefdom of what you think you do best; rather than celebrate in the enjoyment of a good rendition or the glory of pride in what a friend can do.
When you are late for dinner, 'WHERE ARE YOU?' becomes an insult although your parents have heard the news of a 5 car pile up on the highway you are on and worried that you may be dead will always be met by verbal or mental utterations of 'Aiyo! I am on my way la. You think I dont need to work is it?' or something along those lines.
WHY? WHY? WHY?
Why can so much hate be a result of so much love?
If you are looking for an answer, I have none to offer.
I myself falls victim to this 'disease' that threatens the fabric of our being.
Is it incurable?
Well, if we leave it alone,it will consume you.
I now take a 3 breaths plus positive thinking approach to the problem.
And before it is too late.
Why 3 breaths?
Because in the nature of my fire-ry disposition and the curse of directness, my 'love' can be also be interpreted as hatred. What I mean good can be bad.
3 breaths is a place holder for the time I can put what I want to express - usually negative and with a tone to accompany it - into something less prickly to not just the ears but to the heart.
This entry aims to seek more intelligent answers to this question that may result in separation although still very much in love; subversion of a colleague although collaboration for joint success should be the way; or simply achieving happiness together by expressing love in the right way, manner and tone.
Another thing, do not hold back the sharing of happiness cause life is too short and unpredictable.
You may not have a chance. And that is the ultimate regret. For all.
Eat your vegetable.
You sing so well.
Wow! You speak many languages.
Where are you?"
These remarks, like many others, can come from all the right premises.
GOOD and LOVE.
Most times, it can become BAD and HATRED.
WHY?
When a person who loves you and possibly whom you love wants to show their love when you are ill asks you to take your medication, sometimes, most times, in your agitated manner or the sign of the state, comes drastic unneccessary reply of 'You think I can't take care of myself?'; 'Stop nagging!", 'I am NOT a baby!' and so on.
When a colleague can sing well or speaks many different languages, you may think he or she is a threat to your fiefdom of what you think you do best; rather than celebrate in the enjoyment of a good rendition or the glory of pride in what a friend can do.
When you are late for dinner, 'WHERE ARE YOU?' becomes an insult although your parents have heard the news of a 5 car pile up on the highway you are on and worried that you may be dead will always be met by verbal or mental utterations of 'Aiyo! I am on my way la. You think I dont need to work is it?' or something along those lines.
WHY? WHY? WHY?
Why can so much hate be a result of so much love?
If you are looking for an answer, I have none to offer.
I myself falls victim to this 'disease' that threatens the fabric of our being.
Is it incurable?
Well, if we leave it alone,it will consume you.
I now take a 3 breaths plus positive thinking approach to the problem.
And before it is too late.
Why 3 breaths?
Because in the nature of my fire-ry disposition and the curse of directness, my 'love' can be also be interpreted as hatred. What I mean good can be bad.
3 breaths is a place holder for the time I can put what I want to express - usually negative and with a tone to accompany it - into something less prickly to not just the ears but to the heart.
This entry aims to seek more intelligent answers to this question that may result in separation although still very much in love; subversion of a colleague although collaboration for joint success should be the way; or simply achieving happiness together by expressing love in the right way, manner and tone.
Another thing, do not hold back the sharing of happiness cause life is too short and unpredictable.
You may not have a chance. And that is the ultimate regret. For all.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
When personal inadequacies become someone else's problem
Day in day out we see different interpretations of the same incidence producing different perspectives because of the observers' personal experiences.
Not right.
Not wrong.
Just different.
However, many of these interpretations become a problem - usually for other people - because of the observer's insecurity and bias.
The real question is why make your own shortcomings someone else's problem?
The answer is awareness, acknowledgment, acceptance - or the lack of it.
Many a times, the person is not even aware that he/she has made it someone else's problem.
And sometimes, eventhough he/she is aware of it, refuses to acknowledge that it is a problem.
And worse, hard headed stubbornness prevents one from accepting that he/she is the problem.
And what follows in amendment to advance totally is dust to the wind!
Many is blinded by arrogance and numbed by insecurity to see all this.
And the lowest hanging fruit or easiest way is to blame it on others.
It immediately no longer is their problem.
In the hierachical world, whether corporations or community, this has become a disease.
Sometimes it even brings an incentive like paying millions to CEOs who cannot perform to leave.
That does not only bewilders me but also bother me like hell.
However, it remains the easiest way to transfer one's shortcoming to another and make it their problem.
What these people does not understand is that the world is getting smarter, people are having more choices, and they have the opportunity to not choose them anymore.
So wake up you insecure pitiful people.
Learn not to blame.
Learn to embrace.
Learn to appreciate.
Learn to be humble and in so doing become great!
Not right.
Not wrong.
Just different.
However, many of these interpretations become a problem - usually for other people - because of the observer's insecurity and bias.
The real question is why make your own shortcomings someone else's problem?
The answer is awareness, acknowledgment, acceptance - or the lack of it.
Many a times, the person is not even aware that he/she has made it someone else's problem.
And sometimes, eventhough he/she is aware of it, refuses to acknowledge that it is a problem.
And worse, hard headed stubbornness prevents one from accepting that he/she is the problem.
And what follows in amendment to advance totally is dust to the wind!
Many is blinded by arrogance and numbed by insecurity to see all this.
And the lowest hanging fruit or easiest way is to blame it on others.
It immediately no longer is their problem.
In the hierachical world, whether corporations or community, this has become a disease.
Sometimes it even brings an incentive like paying millions to CEOs who cannot perform to leave.
That does not only bewilders me but also bother me like hell.
However, it remains the easiest way to transfer one's shortcoming to another and make it their problem.
What these people does not understand is that the world is getting smarter, people are having more choices, and they have the opportunity to not choose them anymore.
So wake up you insecure pitiful people.
Learn not to blame.
Learn to embrace.
Learn to appreciate.
Learn to be humble and in so doing become great!
Monday, August 10, 2009
As I was passing... these 47 years!
Many celebrates the date when they come into this world...
Many does not have a chance to celebrate it...
Many may not have a chance to celebrate the next...
Yet many hate to know that another is coming.
Whatever it may be, it is not something that is within your control...
And I do not mean the cake nor the decorations!
Birthdays... why is it of such significance to our life... long or short?
Is it a countdown to death or a count-up to living?
Birthdays I believe, was created to denote a coming of ...
Life - during times when living pass your first year was a miracle;
Success - when you have made it... and you have lots of people whom admire you and look up to you;
Seniority - when you now sit, rather than stand at ceremonies;
Demonstration of love - by your family and friends;
Pain - of older and less healthy age and independence.
Life, as it is, is a continuum .. of course until the day that it is terminated.
Therefore birthdays should be celebrated based on level of happiness and to have health to enjoy it.
Birthdays therefore should be celebrated everyday.. to give thanks to what we have and what we can give; that we can love someone who loves us back, and to have yet another chance to live our life the way we want to and not just being alive.
Birthdays should include moments of quiet reflection upon the years you have chalked up, moments to speak to yourself which we do so little these days; moments to be aware of your past, acknowledge your good, bad and ugly; accept your failures; amend to do better and then advance to being a happier person to spread joy by making others happy!
Now that is a birthday worth celebrating, everyday, no matter how long or short one lives.
Therefore birthdays, like lives, are not about the passage of time and the wrinkling of skin but the way one lives it as you enjoy a smooth and happy ride through the experiences of life!
Many does not have a chance to celebrate it...
Many may not have a chance to celebrate the next...
Yet many hate to know that another is coming.
Whatever it may be, it is not something that is within your control...
And I do not mean the cake nor the decorations!
Birthdays... why is it of such significance to our life... long or short?
Is it a countdown to death or a count-up to living?
Birthdays I believe, was created to denote a coming of ...
Life - during times when living pass your first year was a miracle;
Success - when you have made it... and you have lots of people whom admire you and look up to you;
Seniority - when you now sit, rather than stand at ceremonies;
Demonstration of love - by your family and friends;
Pain - of older and less healthy age and independence.
Life, as it is, is a continuum .. of course until the day that it is terminated.
Therefore birthdays should be celebrated based on level of happiness and to have health to enjoy it.
Birthdays therefore should be celebrated everyday.. to give thanks to what we have and what we can give; that we can love someone who loves us back, and to have yet another chance to live our life the way we want to and not just being alive.
Birthdays should include moments of quiet reflection upon the years you have chalked up, moments to speak to yourself which we do so little these days; moments to be aware of your past, acknowledge your good, bad and ugly; accept your failures; amend to do better and then advance to being a happier person to spread joy by making others happy!
Now that is a birthday worth celebrating, everyday, no matter how long or short one lives.
Therefore birthdays, like lives, are not about the passage of time and the wrinkling of skin but the way one lives it as you enjoy a smooth and happy ride through the experiences of life!
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